We really tried everything! From the giant backpack in the seat next to you or stretched out across two seats asleep asked, yes we even sat in the aisle and phoned with very important (imaginary) business partners and typed loudly in the Laptop. None of this helped, because at some point there always came the inevitable moment when someone noticed the swindle and whispered with hypocritical politeness: “Excuse me, is this seat still free?” smiled tormented, nodded and hoped that the person sitting next to you didn’t turn out to be a chattering or loudly smacking person. Our 14 amusing tweets about people sitting next to you show that you are (almost) always entertained.
#1: When life gives you a pole, dance!
Experience of an S-Bahn ride
“Mummy? What are the poles for?”
“To hold on to.”
„Oh.“
“What then?”
“Iss thought to dance.”Maybe our immediate neighbors couldn’t stop laughing.
— Frau Bimbums (@FrauBimbums) August 6, 2021
#2: How do you think she knows?
Guy on the tram to his neighbor:
“Boooaaah hey! Gay people always make me throw up!”
An elderly lady turns around, looks at him and says: “Then you mustn’t put it in your mouth so deeply!”
– HrDingsMitHund (rHrDingsMitHund) December 12, 2021
#3: Absolutely persevere, we want to know too
But for the last 20 minutes I’ve had to overhear a call from my seat neighbor, who is discussing a secret PR concept for a prominent Instaperson, and I can’t leave before the name finally comes up. #Travelrützel
— Anja Rützel (@aruetzel) May 23, 2022
#4: Intellectual Balance
One of the people sitting next to her on the train reads Bourdieu, the other Thomas Mann. To bring the intellectual level back to mediocrity, the son watches YouTube videos and I tweet.
— family business (@business family) December 9, 2017
#5: Lip reading is really exhausting in the long run
For those who watch Netflix on public transport, remember the subtitles for your neighbors.
— netflixde (@NetflixDE) February 21, 2018
#6: Recommended by naturopaths
Here on the train, a woman has just dissolved 10 globules in a bottle of water while saying to the person sitting next to her, “Otherwise they are too strong for the little ones!”
Now I don’t know either…— Chris (@cs50935) June 28, 2018
#7: “Come on my age, Miss!”
The 18-year-old seat neighbor asks me my age.
Me: “I just turned 30.”
Her: “Wow, you can’t see them.
…you know, I only really have old people in my circle of friends!”*uses old people punch technique*
— ŦЯΛUVΛЛSΛSS (@FrauVanSass) August 18, 2018
#8: Servicetweet
“The train will be replaced. If the person sitting next to you has headphones in their ears, bump them and take them with you.” (@vivivanderspree)
— Bahn announcements (@BahnAnsagen) July 7, 2016
#9: Gorgeous!
my seat neighbor on the train watches a series whenever something is funny he laughs and says out loud “wonderful!” i think i should marry him that much
— Mc Fauli fabuli fabuli🧂 (@faulifabuli) October 20, 2021
#10: When he ends up swallowing hot water, he has soup right in his stomach
My neighbor on the ICE has soup vegetables with him, which he eats raw. Carrots, celery, parsley and leek with root. I’m totally fascinated.
– Anja (nAnjaAmaranth) June 5, 2019
#11: We desperately need to wash our mouths
I forgot my coffee on the subway.
At least that’s what I thought – but the thermal mug is in the side pocket of the backpack.
Which one did I drink from on the subway?!
That could explain why the person sitting next to me looked so stupid.
— Coffee man (@43ermilch) October 18, 2019
#12: This goes down like oil
Student meeting of the partner school.
I’m 5 minutes late and since all the teachers’ chairs are already occupied, I just sit down with the students.
After 5 minutes, the person sitting next to me whispers to me: “Hey sweetie, I’ve never seen you here before, what class are you in?”
Nice.
– Schmagülzchen (@MissSchmaguelze) February 12, 2020
#13: No, you are mine all alone
I’m sitting in a Flixbus.
*unwrap chocolate cake*
*neighbor looks unusually friendly*
*slowly wraps up the chocolate cake*— Yet another rabbit (🏡) (@urmels) November 19, 2017
#14: They do that on purpose up there!
My series when I watch it at home:
– Dialog
– Landscape
– TumbleweedsMy series when the person sitting next to me on the train looks at the iPad:
– Headshot
– sex scene
– A baby koala is set on fire— Gebbi Gibson (@GebbiGibson) June 9, 2019
Have you already found your seat neighbor for life?
